Addicted.

Today's post will be all about substance abuse so put on your ganja cap and enjoy!

My name is Dennis and I'm a substance abuser. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm actually quite pride of my addictions. They form an integral part of my personality and generally help me cope better in the day to day sumo match that is life. Before you start calling the anti-narcotic police (Ha Ha Ha anti narcotic police in KENYA) let me explain which substances in specific I'm addicted to.

Coming in at 3rd place the ever popular Coffee. I'm generally not a morning person and if it wasn't for the genius who invented Coffee, I probably would have committed suicide promptly upon entering high school. A nice warm cuppa joe's the perfect way to start any morning off. I like my coffee like my women. Hot, strong, sweet. 'Nuff said. Every morning, at the breakfast table, as I hold my piping hot cup of liquid get-up-n-go, I like to savor the delicious aroma as it wafts up my nostrils, letting it transport me for a few precious seconds into Coffee-Heaven and for a few moments each day all is right in the world.

The 2nd substance I love to abuse is sugar. Not that cheap stuff they squeeze out from cane plants and crystallize for tea. That's not sugar. I'm talking about the GOOD stuff: 100% artificial sweetness packaged in varying forms, all with the sole intent of pleasing your palate. I love sweets!!! Mentos, Tic Tacs, Snickers, Kit Kats, Big G, Orbit, Koo & PatCo etc. etc. ALL CANDY IS DANDY!! There isn't a sorrow in the world today, that an ordinary sweet-box can't keep at bay. And you can quote me on that!

The Number One thing I can't get enough of is ... drumroll please ... this one's a real drug by the way ... are you ready... It's ... Fukitol. Everyone needs a liberal amount of I-don't-give-a-hoot in their lives to stay sane. Especially those of us who think/worry/waste-their-effing-time over stuff that quite frankly isn't really that important to you. You know who you are! :) Sometimes the best approach to life and its daily stress is a healthy dose of liwe-liwalo/laissez-faire.

This Tuesday, Fukitol!!